And the winner is....!!!

Today is the day to announce the winner of the "Most Awesome Parent" Award, as voted on by me. Before we do, however, I promised Jacob that I would make everyone aware of his trepidations and reservations regarding this laurel.

He's afraid that the loser may have his (or her) feelings hurt and he's concerned about how this may affect how he's parented.

What's more, he was concerned that, since I'm the judge, I may have a difficult time with inherent biases. I validated his concern and assured him that I would be as prudent, fair and decisive as possible; that I would not allow myself to consider my own strengths while only highlighting Brian's weaknesses during deliberation. Further, I told him that both Brian and I were good sports and that we enjoy friendly competition. This seemed to appease him and he gave me his blessing to proceed.

Now, let's meet the nominees. First up, me.I nominated myself for "The Most Awesome Parent" award for several reasons. I am smart, hilarious, talented and, most of all, self-deprecating. I have tremendous patience when it comes to fussy, demanding, high-needs babies named Jacob and because I have the ability to take a mirror that hasn't been cleaned in years and make it's dirt look like falling snow.

Next up, Brian.

Brian was nominated because he can read,

he sports hip sunglasses,

he smokes a mean rack of ribs, or so I'm told, while wearing hip sunglasses,

he's a good thinker (especially after having a beer),

because he wears cool shirts that don't detract from his hip sunglasses,

his uncanny ability to look cool sitting on a motorcycle,

he can steer a boat while wearing hip sunglasses,

because he is so photogenic,

and because he knows how to stand beside his brother while wearing hip sunglasses.

So, who wins? Me, the one who changes the most poopy diapers (take a guess as to what kind of leak is going on under this outfit. hint: it's not pee-pee)?

Or Brian, the one who allows Jacob to mouth his hip sunglasses (hey, he won't even let ME do that)?

I would like to say that it's tie, that we've both won the "Most Awesome Parent" award. After all, we both are enamored with our son.

There can be only one winner, though. Drum roll please.........The winner of the "Most Awesome Parent" award goes to...................................................................................................................................

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! Congratulations to me!!!! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the judge and to ask her what it was about me and my parenting that she felt tipped the scale in my favor.

Well, Amanda, the answer can be summed up with one picture:

Despite Brian's hip sunglasses, the judge felt like you were the most deserving of the award because you allowed this to happen to your body for the sake of your child.

When reached for comment about the outcome of the judging, Jacob's response was pure glee.

He wants me to tell you, though, that he maintains that both parents are superb! Especially when they're both wearing hip sunglasses!

Hat Day

We just wrapped up Spirit Week here in the Simpson household. Here's a breakdown of the week's events:


Monday: Spit-Your-Sweet-Potatoes-All-Over-Your-Mom Day.

Tuesday: Shake-Your-Head-"NO"-To-All-Offered-Food Day.

Wednesday: Only-Take-Short-Naps Day.

Thursday: Diarrhea Day.

Friday (whew! we made it): Hat Day.

Somehow I don't think Hat day was as fun as the 4 previous days.Things did liven up a bit when Zeke came around. He really knows how to get the party started.




Jodie declined to participate in Spirit Week after I vetoed her Let's-All-Eat-Poop day idea.
Next week we will reveal Superlative winners! Who do you think won the "Most Awesome Parent" Award this year? The answer may surprise you!

Come one, come all!

Since we haven't had any bites on the modeling gig, we've decided to explore other options. Since the fair and circus are always hiring, we decided contact them to discuss what we believe to be Jacob's most current offerings. We met with the Carnies and they have offered Jacob a side show gig!

So, America, here is the newest, most freakiest side show act since the 3-headed cow:

FANG BOY!!!!

What do you think? He's going to be sandwiched between Gorilla Woman and Stinky Coffee Breath Brian, err, I mean, Stinky Coffee Breath Dad.

All that's left to do now is sit back and watch the $$$ roll in!!

Thanks for the long walks and fresh air

I want to take this blog entry to thank my beautiful bloodhound, Big Billy, for keeping me trim by insisting that I take him on daily, long walks.

Due to his chronic medical condition, epilepsy, Brian and I had to have him put to sleep today.

This next thanks goes to my constant companion, Sula (aka Tuh-Tiny), for insisting that I keep the windows open for her. She taught me to enjoy the fresh air.

She was an indoor-only cat who managed to get out Saturday night. I've not seen her since.

I am deeply saddened by the loss of Billy and Sula. I've never mourned for a pet as an adult. I continue to have difficulty finding the right words to express my love for them and how much my heart hurts.

Thanks for the long walks, Billy, and the fresh air, Sula.