Seriously, folks...

Isn't this the cutest Jacob Patrick Simpson that you know?

I do not heart the end of Daylight Savings Time

It seems as though the end of Daylight Savings Time has not been good to me this year. In years past, I welcomed the return of standard time much like a 5th grader welcomes summer. Since I wasn't engaged in many night-time activities, the end to the long days made me know longer feel like a loser. No, see, it got dark out earlier and so you're supposed to be inside sitting with your dog and parents watching America's Funniest Videos. When it's 8 p.m. and the sun is still beaming like it's 3 p.m. and you're doing the aforementioned activity with the aforementioned people and you're 13, you're a loser.

Fast forward to now: America's Funniest Videos is no longer hosted by Bob Saget and they now call it AFV (very new millennium). I am 30-years-old, been married for 6 years, have a 15-month-old son, an 11-year-old mutt for a dog and a cat that's freakier than anybody I know. I enjoy watching the Office with my husband once night falls. And now, when it's darker sooner, I don't feel like we should be outside doing something cool; it's ok to be sitting on my butt watching T.V.

But life has a funny way of sticking it to you. It seems that with the return of standard time comes a royal messing-with-my-son's-inner-clock. Where once he was getting up at 7:45, now he awakens anywhere between 5:45 and 6:15. We've tried everything: reinstating a pacifier (I even hate to admit this, but desperate times, people), letting him cry, making him a toy box full of non-noise making toys that I put in his crib once I hear his first peep. Everything! Nothing works. We've put him to bed later, earlier--nothing. We've postponed dinner, thinking that he might be getting up early due to hunger. Nope.

So, now I find myself yearning for Daylight Savings Time. Funny, huh? I realize that I'd take a little sleeping in over feeling like a dork from 7 to 10 p.m. Maybe Dolly has some ideas on some very cool activities that we can engage in once the Savings Time returns...chase Roomba, climb into the dishwasher, push his cart around, turn the water on and off in the tub, play in the toilet....you know, stuff that the cool kids do. Goodbye, AFV! Hello, toilet water! I am, however, not going to engage in the activity pictured below, no matter how much I am exposed to son-pressure.

I am simply not cool enough.

I heart NY!

My NY report is long overdue. Obviously, my child and husband survived during my absence, with the extent of the home-wrecking being scrambled eggs on the floor. Not bad, huh? So, kudos to my husband!! About NY... it was great!! We spent the majority of our time in Brooklyn, where Julie lives. There's something to be said, in my opinion, for being able to walk out of your brownstone (Brooklyn lingo) and having a grocery store, bagel shop and an amazingly huge park all right there!!

My trip out there was an adventure. Upon arriving at the airport in Little Rock, I was told that they had cancelled my flight. So, I waited for a significant amount of time in a loooooong line with many angry passengers while they attempted to re-book all of us. Lucky for me, where I was going had many flights headed there, and I was easily rescheduled onto another flight. I rushed to the new gate, with only 15 mins. until departure, and found that this flight had been delayed for over an hour. Which meant that I was going to miss my connecting flight...which I did. So, when I finally arrived in NY, I was famished. Thanks to Paula, I had a gentleman awaiting my arrival, complete with a hand-held sign with my name on it, to whisk me away to Brooklyn.

Oh, did I mention that Julie had picked up the ukulele since I last saw her? Amazing, this woman!! (Oh, she's single by-the-way, which is hard to believe considering her ukulele skills.)
We spent much of our time just walking around. Now, that may sound boring to some of you, but it's exactly what I enjoy doing on vacation. We took the subway to and from Manhattan and on the ride back, Julie and I met some really colorful older gentleman.

The scene opens with a young man playing his guitar while his female friend sings as we ride from town. The tune? John Fogerty's Have you ever seen the Rain?. This was enough to move one of the passengers into joining the duo. He seemed so happy, beaming as he sang. He was close enough for me to notice his missing teeth and alcohol smell and for him to notice me noticing his missing teeth and alcohol smell. After the musicians finished their tune, the gentleman looked at me and asked something but I, for the life of me, couldn't understand him (Damn those British accents!! I can never understand them). I soon realized his question to me was regarding the title of the song, as he approached the musicians with this query. The musicians were, should I say, a little put off by him, and quickly left our car. I, feeling sorry for the guy, who was just wanting remember the name of the song he obviously loves so much, offered to write the song and artist on a piece of paper. He was so grateful, and guess who became instant BFFs?

You got it!! So, I now know everything there is to know about Bangor, Maine. Anything you want to know, just ask. I have also been educated as to the perils of New Yorkers as a people. So, I can help any of you with that, if need be.

In the meantime, Julie is conversing with a gentleman who had, so it appeared, recently been discharged from the hospital due to some kind of a foot ailment. After I gave my dude the yeah-I'm-done-talking-to-you hint, I decided to meander into their conversation. I'm glad I did because I came into him tearing off his hospital bracelet and him trying to give it to Julie. Julie was politely refusing, at which point he said, "I'm not trying to give it to you. I just want you to write to me." When Julie pointed out that his address wasn't on the bracelet, he began to spout off his address to her, whereupon she matter-of-factly reminded him that his stop was approaching. As he left the car, he pleaded with Julie to write to him, which she considered. When I asked her what she would say if she were to write to him, she replied, "Oh, something like, The sky is blue, the trees are green." That's good. He very well may not know those things.

So, I ate lots and lots of bagels, walked many miles and spent many hours just talking with my best friend about life, the Statue of Liberty and New Yorkers' pursuit of happiness (because, if you remember, I know all about this). My flights home were better, as far as scheduling goes, but man, I almost puked on the last leg of my flight. How embarrassing is that? See, I was seated beside this really nice guy who obviously didn't know that a nice young lady with a book in her lap doesn't want to be bothered during the flight. Well, he might have known that etiquette says to leave a book reader alone, but the guy was just so eager to tell SOMEONE about his awesome daughter and all of her AWESOME accolades that he just couldn't contain himself. I, of course, listened with my usual intensity and, with him, marveled at his daughter's amazing abilities. Here's the thing: when you're seated beside someone who wants to talk about their daughter, who, ironically enough, is name "Amanda" (what is it with "Amanda's" always being so darn awesome?) you have to turn your head to look at them while they yammer on. And when someone who is prone to motion sickness does this, it messes with their periphery. And that means trouble. As he was talking, and as the mouth-watering began, signaling that puking my guts outs was imminent, I located the barf bag and I began to recite, in my head, appropriate ways to excuse myself to my row 11 correspondent. As luck would have it, I didn't barf. Not sure why because, as those of you who've puked before know, the mouth watering is pretty much the end all. So, I was fortunate enough to be able to listen to this guys tales about Amanda from take off to landing. Lucky me!

I look back on my trip with great fondness. It was nice to have some time to myself and only have to worry about me. No fretting about balanced meals, snacks, bedtimes, poopy diapers. And as I lay at night thinking about how amazing this Amanda girl must be, I find myself wondering if she's ever seen the rain?, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Say "No!" to T.V.!

Reader Beware--I'm hopping up onto my soapbox--

I see soooo many children on a weekly basis whose parents are pulling their hair out because their children are struggling in school and at home to sit still, focus and, subsequently, make good grades. Most recently, a parent I was interviewing told me, "In class, he's doing cartwheels, flips and singing songs." This certainly paints a funny picture, but I think that we'd all agree that there's something tragic about putting a child on medicine. It happened to this kid and many kids, alike. And it may be due to the increase in the amount of T.V. children are watching.

Even more upsetting to me is the fact that children are being plopped in front of a T.V. at a very early age, for various reasons: parent's wanting a break from prattle or in a seeming attempt to make their child smarter--(Baby Einstein, etc). Surprisingly, children can entertain themselves! A T.V., contrary to what some parents believe, isn't like a stroller, crib, diaper; it's not an essential part of rearing a child.

Further, if the research is correct, watching T.V., no matter the content, can have a negative effect on a child's scholastic ability. And, it messes up their self-talk--you know, that voice that talks to you throughout the day, critiquing what you've done, said, tells you what to do next, helps you make plans and execute them--Which, in the long run, could mess up how they regulate their behaviors, control their impulses. Aaaahhhhh, enter the child therapist. Here I come to work with your child on how to slow down, problem-solve, use coping skills. So, I guess that the parents who feel that T.V. is harmless should know that they may be keeping my profession alive. Maybe I should thank them. But that's too sardonic. And the situation is sad.

AD/HD is a very real disorder. If you don't believe me and think that children who are just "active" are being erronesouly medicated, come hang out with me at work. I work on Tuesday's and Wednesday's from 8-1. Then tell me what you think.

I certainly don't have parenting figured out (my kid is going to have a temper; at 15-months-old, it's apparent. As I tell people, he's got Brian's intensity and my mouthiness. My mom says that Jacob is just "learning to express himself." That's putting it nicely. I'm at a loss of what to do or how to handle it. We've got a long road ahead). I don't want to come across as a know-it-all in the parenting department, but I do know about AD/HD; I know what it looks like and I know how it upsets a household, a child's social skills and academics. And to me, if you could do something to avoid this happening, why wouldn't you?

So, in my house, the T.V. stays off until Dolly goes to bed. During the day, we blow bubbles, go for walks, play with Jodie and Zeke, scream, get red-in-the-face, ball up our fists, throw magnets, cry, push the cart around the house, jump on the bed, get bored, frequent the library, bakery and Subway (Eat Fresh). In the car, we play with books, toys, throw our sippy cup and eat graham crackers. No fancy movie-machines there.

For those of you who need research to back up personal assertions, I applaud you. And here you go: http://www.whitedot.org/issue/iss_story.asp?slug=ADHD%20Toddlers

To those of who aren't convinced, you might want to go ahead and schedule your appointment with me. Since I only work 2 days per week, I get full pretty fast.

A few fun facts.

Did you know....

--Lobsters exhibit 'handedness'?? Some lobsters will have the crusher claw on the right side while others will have it on the left. You can see that this lobster's "crusher claw" is on his right side. Look as he grabs the sucker from his dad's hand.

--Lobsters use complicated signals to establish social relationship?? Listen as this lobster uses complicated, yet sophisticated, language to establish his social relationship with his dad and me.

--To escape from enemies, lobsters swim backwards by flipping their tail?? This lobster is unique in that he runs forward in an attempt to fool and disarm perceived "enemies"--aka--those that want to take away his sucker because he's getting blue gunk and sticky slobber all down his cute lobster costume.

--Lobsters eyes are compound eyes, consisting of hundreds of lenses joined together on the ends of pair of jointed organs called stalks?? This lobster has beautiful blue eyes consisting of hundreds of eyelashes.

--Lobsters come in a variety of colors?? Pictured here is one of the rarest of the species. Not much is known about the elusive Blue-Mouth-With-Beautiful-Eyes-And-A-Really-Smart-Mom lobster. Here's a rare glimpse:

And finally--Did you know that lobsters know how to text?? It's true, and I've got the photograph to prove it!There you have it folks, your marine biology lesson for the year! Happy Halloween from your favorite crustacean!!

Oh, what fun!

Things have been moving right along here in the Simpson household over the past couple of weeks.

We have spent lots of time with grandparents:

We've been walking:

Eating lemons and doughnuts:

Hanging out at the beach:

Playing in Grandma & Grandpa's bird bath:

Going to fall festivals:
We've been getting to know hayrides & slides:

We've been delighting in seeing dad strung up by his manhood on "The Human Velcro Jump" (ok, so it was just me who delighted in this):

And just being so darn cute!:

October has been a fun month, no doubt. But it's time we steered on into next month, for Grammy and Grampy will visit, as well as Grandma. It's the most wonderful time of the year! Well.....almost!!

Trial run

As I stated in an earlier blog, I am going to New York City at the end of the month, leaving Brian and Jacob to their own devices. What fun! I've never spent the night away from Jacob; I think the longest I've gone not being with him was 8 or so hours. Which means, Brian has never had to deal with him, solely, for an extended period of time. So, when I was invited to go to dinner and attend a fall festival with some friends from work last night, I thought it'd be good practice for Brian. So, he had to plan and prepare Jacob's dinner, monitor and play with him during bath time and read 3-9 stories to Jacob before night-night...all without my help.

If you had to guess, what would say was the 1st thing I did when I got home last night? Yep, run, not walk, and check on my sleeping child. All seemed well, as he was crunched up in the crook of his crib, like normal. So, good work, da-da!

I nonchalantly drilled Brian on the night. How was Jacob? How much did he eat? Did he have poopy? How'd he do on the walk? Did he go sleep easily? Apparently Jacob had a hearty dinner: rice and beans, a veggie dog, broccoli AND applesauce. Not too much water on the floor from the tidal waves that Jacob creates while bathing and story hour went off without a hitch. Everything seemed to be on the up and up.

During the interrogation, though, I noticed that Brian had food stains all over his shirt and that he had crazy black stuff in his ear. I also noticed pieces of sausage on the floor. I assumed the food on his shirt and the crap in his ear was from Jacob's poor table manners. Nope. As it turns out, Brian ate a pizza after Jacob went to sleep and managed to get tomato sauce all over his shirt and crust in his ear. The mysterious sausage on the floor was from the pizza, too. So, it got me thinking: did Brian have some kind of mental breakdown after Jacob went to bed? One that involves not being able to properly feed oneself so that food ends up on clothing, ears and floors? Was watching the kid unassisted by me that stressful? I work in the mental health field but have yet to come across this type of PTSD.

My eyes continued to wander and I was shocked at myself for not noticing before: the house, especially the kitchen, was a complete wreck! Oh, my! I CANNOT stand dirty dishes in the sink, toys strewn about the house* and half eaten pizza on the counters. So, we immediately commenced to cleaning up our living space.

Was the trial run a success? I'd say so. Jacob got to spend some quality time with da-da without ma-ma following up behind everyone with a sponge and broom. But, if this was any indicaton of how my house and husband are going to look after 5 nights of me being gone, I'm worried.

So, is it safe to leave my child with Brian for 5 days and 4 nights? Definitely. Is it safe to leave my house with Brian for 5 days and 4 nights? Probably not.

*Toys strewn about the house when Jacob's up-and-at-'em is different from toys strewn about the house when his day is done.